I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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