dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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