Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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