He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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