We got so high we made milksteak
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
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my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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