Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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