Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize