you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
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What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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