Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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