i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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