They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
In other news, I just burned my penis
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize