I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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