You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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