I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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