i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize