Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize