oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize