My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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