you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize