wake up i wanna do it froggy style
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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