Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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