based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize