i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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