So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There r osticjed everywhere
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize