you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize