please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize