Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
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So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
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I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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