wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
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Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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