people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
third nipple confirmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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