I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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