the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
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Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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