If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
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Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
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SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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