Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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