I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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