I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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