I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
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Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
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The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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