dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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