I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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