Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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