if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
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Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
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So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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