i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
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Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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