so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize