This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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