Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
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He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
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Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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