It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
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He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
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Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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