I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
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I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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