I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
you never un-have a 4some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize