I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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