Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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