miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize